moving on.

its almost two years i'm bearing this service number. however a part of me feels that it was just yesterday that i made that huge decision in my life.

recently a friend had just ended his two years service for the nation. and i could identify what exactly he was going through; uncertainty.

i recall the june of 2009 where i was frantically trying to push myself into the working industry securing myself a job. the numerous interviews.

and the fall of the lehman brothers seriously made it worst for a fresh grad like me then, especially with only a mere diploma on my back.

so i took the easy path. a path of familiarity and comfort.

and two years passing by, i've been where i was since then.

thus, i hinted to my friend to not repeat the mistake that i made. but i guess its all up to him.

two years of 12hours shift works. inconsistent sleeping time. all the battlescars carved onto my limbs will only bring bittersweet memories and nothing but memories. not even a recognisable working experience. a routinal seven hundred and twenty minutes being in the blue and hours of unproductive late night activities with colleagues; coz no else will be free to waste their time in the wee hours of a midweek.

but then it took me so long to realise. perhaps it was mere lack of self confidence and comfort to move on.

end note(s) :

-

..and the long week goes on.

its a saturday evening. happy coz its the weekend and its off day. excited? not at all..

the hectic week is not pretty much over. oh well.

just got home from late lunch with JQ. miss her so much that finally meeting her was.... *indescribable

squeezed a couple of minutes these past few days to catch a glimpse of my dear, but my heart just grew fonder.

been behind time for project climb360 and havent had a chance to climb recently either..

blame it on the sudden hectic week? or issit just my poor time management?

zinc-jie also got a task for me which i've yet to complete..

design for ruey&priss' wedding.

end note(s) :

- gottalearntobefirm.

ubber long week

its friday.. one of the days in the week which i usually will be looking forward to..

i suppose this week will not be one of them.

its one of those rare long weeks where work requires alot of me (besides the shift work); in-service lessons, running, extra duties etc.

and by past mid-week, i'll usually be on auto-pilot mode feeling rather drained but, life has to go on.

sad that i got to miss my first practica and and a friend's wedding lunch on sunday.. oh well, committment.

JQ is unwell this week. the monthly unavoidable plus the hot weather is giving her cramps and fever.

accompanied her to the polyclinic on monday. gave her a lil surprise on her second day of mc.

prayed that she'll experience and recieve His healing and will always be in pink of health.

......

end note(s):

-

party like a rockstar, swimming in a dry pool.

i truly appreciate when my close ones points out my flaws. it only helps me reflect and try my best to improve.

dear did so this morning.. and i really thank God that she did. i hope it will only improve myself and our r/s.

honestly words cant describe my heartfelt gratitude for her in my life.

after months of waiting.. after sunday, i really needed the long awaited party.

last night was one night of a party that the delturds threw.

though it didnt went exactly went the way that i imagined.

it sure was one hell of a night. NEVER have i dropped like that ever.

and we definitely let ourselves loose.

i was carefree..

..........

last sunday, was back in hope for the 3rd time since...

i took a bold step in stepping back into nexus again a few weeks ago.

i knew its not gonna be easy. but i did.

it took a while to forget what happened then and to move on.. and i just knew i needed to get back connected with God.

for the past 6 years in my walk, i know.. to connect someone was to love and welcome them.

however, that wasnt the case last sunday.

i was utterly dissappointed..

maybe another hiatus or then again.. am having second thoughts.

end note(s):

-

its been a while..

almost a year to be exact, since my last entry.

SO MANY things had happened.. some sweet memories, some.. i just wish it didnt even happened.

..and life still goes on.

twenty eleven kicked off badly for me.

life around me turned grey and the things that i loved, brings joy to me no more.

there were times that i lost hope and interest in living. and everyday was a sorrow.

i had clinical depression.

slowly i seek happiness in different places and alcohol was my company to drown everything away.

clubs, pubs, parties and short getaways was my escape.

nevertheless, it was mere temporial and each smile was superficial.

i remember the very reason why i stopped clubbing for about a year when someone once asked me this (or something along this line.)

"why do you club so often? do you intend to have a partner who parties and club alot?"

may,1st. on one of my little escape with fellow colleagues, i met her.

aint exactly the type that i will go ga ga for.. but there was just something different about her that i could not lay my finger on.

we didnt spoke much that night. but i was interested to get to know her better. (thank God for FB!)

started out with several chats online, a few days of whatsapp-ing.. and little did i expected, since our first date together, we have been spending (almost) everyday together till date.

despite her confidence and (at times fierce) appearance, theres a sweet hidden side of her that only few could see.

her cheekiness and care and concern nature melts me. she saw the potential within me and constantly pushes me just so i'd improve myself.

i remembered one evening chatting with her online when she asked to go for service together.. my heart skipped a beat!

when i thought, i'd never learn to trust again... she proved me wrong.

end note(s):

JQ, i really thank God for you in my life...

thank you for loving me.